So when it comes to work events, weddings, and family get togethers, keep your casual person out of it. This seems like a no-brainer, but we are creatures of habit and we are generally terrible at protecting our holy spaces, and YES, if you're a young (or even young-ish) person, the bars, coffee shops, and other hangouts you frequent are indeed your holy places.You don't have to hide these people, but you should be pretty selective about who you introduce them to and the associated situations. They are where you go with friends, or by yourself, when you need to recharge, regroup, and feel in your comfort zone, all of which are reasons why you should definitely NOT bring someone to those precious places if you don't plan on them being a serious part of your life. You're weak and bummed out, and all of your resolve to do all the things that are good for you just fall away in the face of a more primal need to seek comfortable things.If you have the same tendency as me—to get very legit with someone real quick—you don't have to stay that way. I say "date" in a deliberate way because I mean the casual, lower-case "d" kind of dating.dating (sic) is still super fun and you shouldn't have to miss out on the chill variety it offers just because you have a track record of Relationships with very little time in between.Years ago, I had what I considered the ultimate sex friendship. And if I'd had better boundaries back then, we possibly could've maintained the great, casual thing we had going on.
Dating lightly is just a different kind of romance altogether.I didn't quite yet understand all the different things to be gained from having different kinds of dating situations of varying degrees of intensity.Even when I tried to keep things casual, I would rapidly find myself ass-deep into another capital R Relationship—again.This type of social interaction can cue way too much stress, and introducing that kind of social stress into a casual relationship defeats the purpose of keeping things non-serious. If the ratio is more individual friends than couples (and at least five of them to start with), it's probably a safe bet to bring someone you're only kinda involved with.